Neuroscience
You sacrificed your Saturday afternoon, you faced the high-street crowds, but after unwrapping the present you so generously bought for them, they didn’t even say thank you.
According to Catherine Roster of the University of New Mexico, when it comes to the future of your relationship with them, that’s the worst thing an unhappy gift recipient can do.
Roster interviewed 186 people who were able to recall a recent occasion when they gave someone a present that they clearly didn’t like. From frowns and false smiles, to never seeing the gift again, Roster identified several means by which participants recognised their gift had been unsuccessful. But of these indicators, a failure to say thank you was the only one that was reliably associated with how detrimental participants said the incident would be to the future of their relationship. Moreover, in an open-ended part of the interview, when participants were asked how the ungrateful friend or relative could have made things better, over half said expressing thanks would have done the trick, even if it clearly wasn’t genuine.
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Roster, C.A. (2006). Moments of truth in gift exchanges: A critical analysis of communication indicators used to detect gift failure. Psychology and marketing, 23, 885-903.
Post written by Christian Jarrett (@psych_writer) for the BPS Research Digest.
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Neuroscience
They didn't even say thank you
You sacrificed your Saturday afternoon, you faced the high-street crowds, but after unwrapping the present you so generously bought for them, they didn’t even say thank you.According to Catherine Roster of the University of New Mexico, when it comes to the future of your relationship with them, that’s the worst thing an unhappy gift recipient can do.
Roster interviewed 186 people who were able to recall a recent occasion when they gave someone a present that they clearly didn’t like. From frowns and false smiles, to never seeing the gift again, Roster identified several means by which participants recognised their gift had been unsuccessful. But of these indicators, a failure to say thank you was the only one that was reliably associated with how detrimental participants said the incident would be to the future of their relationship. Moreover, in an open-ended part of the interview, when participants were asked how the ungrateful friend or relative could have made things better, over half said expressing thanks would have done the trick, even if it clearly wasn’t genuine.
“She could’ve done what the entire family does when opening gifts – acted disgustingly gracious and forget about it”, said one participant.Roster also found that more distant relationships – such as between work colleagues as opposed to relatives – and relationships that participants said were already of poorer quality, were the more likely to be harmed by the unsuccessful gift exchange.
_________________________________
Roster, C.A. (2006). Moments of truth in gift exchanges: A critical analysis of communication indicators used to detect gift failure. Psychology and marketing, 23, 885-903.
Post written by Christian Jarrett (@psych_writer) for the BPS Research Digest.
- What We've Been Getting Wrong About Choosing Gifts
Buying a gift can feel like a test. You want the gift to show how thoughtful you've been, and how you've taken the recipient's interests and personality into account. Yet according to the authors of a new psychology paper, this isn't the...
- Our Xmas Special: Gift Psychology And Psychology Gifts
Psychology-themed gifts: Inception DVD - Jungian symbolism, action adventure and Leonardo DiCaprio! A subscription to Scientific American Mind magazine. "I'm statistically significant" and other stats-themed t-shirts. Memento DVD - the best...
- The Psychology Of Gift Giving - Just Give Them What They Want
By spending days hunting for that special gift for your friend or partner, you'll show them just how much you care, and also what incredible insight you have into their needs and interests. Right? Not exactly. A new study by a pair of researchers...
- Why You Should Take Extra Care When Buying A Xmas Gift For A Man
As you go shopping for Christmas presents this holiday, bear in mind that buying the wrong gift for a man could put your relationship with him in jeopardy, whereas buying a bad gift for a woman is far less dangerous. That's according to Elizabeth...
- Give And Take
Most of us have had the experience of opening yet another present of socks or hankies from a well-intentioned older relative. But even among friends, why is it that people giving presents so often get it wrong? Norwegian psychologists Karl Teigen, Marina...